My Opinions on HRT Effects (dysphoria & dysmorphia)

My Opinions on HRT Effects (dysphoria & dysmorphia)

   May 06, 2017       Anonymous

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[first published on 28 April 2017]

As mentioned in my edit to Shell Majumdar: What are your experiences as an LGBTQIA person who never had a coming out experience?, I was confused on whether or not I am actually trans as my dysphoria stopped existing around Feb 12. However, my apathy worsened, which makes me wonder if my gender just became less intense.

One month later (March 29), my dysphoria worsened intensely.
Currently — another month later, on April 20 — I realized that my body image issues are occasionally more severe than previously thought. I can barely get up from chairs without feeling absurdly paranoid.
This also causes my parents to fight personal offence with further annoyance when I walk backwards/sideways at home.

However, I think I may be suffering more from body image issues and slight dysmorphia than gender dysphoria. I do want to be stronger, but my interest in passing as male comes and goes.
(Yes, I know difference between those words and have since I began talking about and dealing with both of them.)

For this post, I wanted to discuss certain effects of HRT to display my personal experience with gender dysphoria and what changes I personally would look forward to (as opposed to those I resent).
If anyone wants me to add my opinion on other changes they noticed, please comment.

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HRT can make migraines worse and will affect kidneys.

Testosterone (or anti-estrogen)

1. Positive: more musculature.
   Obviously being stronger is objectively better as it creates increased capability/capacity to perform arduous physical tasks.
2. Positive?: breast atrophy.
   Preferably my chest would look muscular, but as long as they look reasonably decent, I do not have that much concern for this point. Most trans people seem to focus on their chest, but my dysphoria is centered elsewhere.
3. Neutral: prominence of veins and coarser skin. (Veins are visually interesting, although coarse skin may require skin care adjustments. I do very little for my skin either way and this has little importance.)
4. Negative: growth of facial and body hair.
   Personally, I think this would be slightly inconvenient and annoying, but I have little concern. Maybe I should have stronger opinions because I am South Asian (obvious hairiness).
5. Negative: more acne/skin oiliness/scalp hair loss/body odor (not dysphoria-related, as most people dislike acne and body odor)
   - Acne is inconvenient and I tend to pick at it, so this is disadvantageous.
   - I like my slightly long hair and receding hairlines seem annoying, although I would like square hairline if only bits of hair were lost. Hairline shape is bit important but I am apathetic.
6. Negative: higher sex drive. Sexual arousal is distracting.

Estrogen (or anti-testosterone)

1. Negative: less muscle mass and strength.
   I am already weak enough, so this would completely bother me. I understand that working out exists, but this reduces my overall potential.
2. Negative?: breast development and enlargement.
   This would be inconvenient as more breast support would be needed. I feel insecure enough when stretching, so this would be awkward.
   Most trans people seem to focus on their chest, but my dysphoria is centered elsewhere.
3. softening/thinning of skin (If this makes it easier to get injured, then I do not like this. Otherwise, it does feel better.)
4. Positive: less body hair
   This seems convenient and less obnoxious. I have heard facial hair can impede eating, depending on how you grow it out and style it.
5. Positive: less acne/skin oiliness/scalp hair loss/body odor
   There would be less skin care, which is great for lazy people!
6. Positive: lower sex drive. Being aroused is irritating, so this would be beneficial.
7. “Positive”: This supposedly happens but this point is for my joke.slightly lighter skin tone due to less melanin.
   Who needs fairness creams when you can take estrogen? However, those products are generally aimed at women, in which case excess estrogen would cause much larger (accidental pun?) problems.

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In general, both ways of transitioning result in mini-penises/big clitorises — testosterone causes clitoromegaly and makes them behave like penises; estrogen decreases size and makes them behave more like clitorises.
(presumably — if I am wrong, correct me on that.)

HRT does reduce fertility and can sterilize you, which might not be that alarming in most cases, but make sure that not having biological children is something with which you will be satisfied.

“Fat on the hips, thighs, and buttocks has a higher concentration of omega-3 fatty acidsand is meant to be used for lactation.” People do not lactate from hips/thighs/buttocks — how is that related? Maybe it might reduce discomfort during childbirth, but that is only thing I could connect.