Packing to Relocate

Packing to Relocate

   April 27, 2016       Anonymous

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One of my classmates sat with me today at lunch because her usual lunch group was at math assistance and told me this thing which was somewhat humourous but distressing:

Her family had gone to another state on vacation.

<They return.>

(Disclaimer: I made up these quotes.) 

Her mother: "I just loved that vacation to 佛फ्लो羅रि里डा達州 (translation of state's name into two languages with alternating characters)! Here is good idea --- why do we not move there?
Think about it; we can start copy of our business there!"

Some days later...

Parents: "We are relocating to 佛फ्लो羅रि里डा達州 to live in great beach house beside lovely emerald waters!"

<She and her brother think this is strange and sudden.>

House is to be up for sale shortly, so they must pack quickly and get into their .

They store half of stuff in day's worth of loading.

Classmate "CM": "Where is my toothbrush?"

Mother: "Oh, we have already put that into storage. We will get you new one."

Classmate thinks: "Okay? I am supposed to just not brush my teeth today...?"

---

Next day or so...

CM and her brother, along with their father, are carrying various boxes while mother rests on couch.

CM thinks: "She was one who wanted to move, so why is she doing nothing? Whatever --- these things are really heavy and I... am... so... tired..."

Prior to telling us this, she asked one of our counselors how she could complete her course plan and received advice which was better suited for someone staying in our state.

This story tells me that people can be quick to form conclusions and act impulsively.

Also, families seem to show a moving trend. Tons of people move here for economic opportunities; people move out to explore other opportunities, as this is an age of change which can either be boredom or interest.

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21 April 2016: Annoying People and Overcrowding

21 April 2016: Annoying People and Overcrowding

   April 22, 2016       Anonymous

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You probably know some person(s) who, for some reason, just could not stop bothering you.

I surely do --- this guy is probably 4-7 years younger than me; I was at my after-school learning program that shall remain unnamed and I was trying to do my work in waiting room. 

{Digression: I understand that kids are not supposed to do classwork in waiting rooms, but I did on a mostly regular basis because there are few people to help me inside and I might be punished for consequently "assisting myself" with solutions and there is more social opportunity outside. I only went inside to turn in my worksheets or because waiting room is dull/classroom is not crowded (desk to myself) but not close to empty (otherwise I may be caught).}

At first, this kid just kept saying "hi" repeatedly, which was typical, so I just kept on talking with my friend-acquaintance. Then, she went to call her parents and this person read our names off our bag labels, made fun of her name and "Reading Rocks" pins (which she had because she liked pins, not reading) and somehow thought my name was pronounced "Shell-Mac", which is wrong.

Things got even more ridiculous.

I continued my drudgery when I heard "I loving you," ... repeatedly. Huh? That seems creepy on a few levels.

I subsequently receive compliments on my appearance: "You are beautiful, pretty, and cute."
What kind of terrible pickup line --- if that was what it was --- is that? Redundancy is not actually that flattering.

My response: "I am not actually concerned with my appearance." and paraphrases [tripled].

I finish my pages and turn them in, then exit to run through building complex, thinking of a response: "You like [people of 'my often assumed gender'], right? Well, I apologize, but I am not actually a [person of 'my often assumed gender']."

No need for it, though. Maybe I will use it to mess with someone else.

Obviously, if there was a reason, I probably would not have minded as much. However, it seems as if he is truly that immature.


Another funny incident that day ---

I met a different friend at same place, who told me that my mom picked her up from our school. What?

Later, on that aforementioned run, I meet her mom who says she would have raced me if she were not wearing wedges, going on to converse with me about school for a few minutes.
(My friend was taking a long time on her classwork, so her mom was waiting outside, which I would have told her, but then thought better not to.)

Then I decided to take a walk and look at an apartment complex that will soon be filled with people, further exacerbating our crowded suburb.

My mom told me that my friend's mom was stuck in traffic for 90 minutes while going nowhere.

Why do people waste money on jacking up roads and making houses? Inconvenience is lucrative.

Fri July 1st 2016 UPDATE: I am making short satire about construction to note problems with overconstruction and I hope some people find this blog and like that story.

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Death [TW: bad writing]

Death [TW: bad writing]

   April 22, 2016       Anonymous

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Written 20 April 2016
Trigger Warning --- speaks of death and also is badly written

I cannot stand sad songs. People write them to cope (which often works) and they are not terrible in and of themselves but they hurt me by forcing me to confront myself and my lack of seriousness.

May 1 Edit: Another thing that bothers me are songs that make me sad when they are not (examples: All Time Low - For Baltimore, Sleeping with Sirens - If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn (also Dance Party because its absurdity and perceived purposelessness made me think about nature of purpose and credit), Abandon All Ships title track of first album (its bridge), etc, Echosmith - Safest Place [I was quite easily saddened during that point], etc.). Other people experience this too as I found from my friend "Bec". If this happens to you, comment what songs or other things have this effect.

Mayday Parade's Terrible Things is sad but like Disappear (by Issues) and Amelia (by Tonight Alive) that have affected me in past and were worse because I found out who they were about, it no longer saddens me (I actually wanted to repeat it because I stopped and listened to last 20 seconds separately). What did make me sad was a comment on music video for Pierce The Veil - King For a Day:

User Name of poster: Music makes this whole thing less painful
My best friend recently killed herself, this was her favorite song and favorite band. Just before hand, she was trying to convince me to listen to PTV, because I didn't like very much of the music she listened to. Two days before she killed herself she was sitting on my stair well with tears in her eyes, I remember asking her if she was okay. She insisted she was so I just brushed it off, I knew she was a strong person. The next day she made me buy this song on my rock band set, and she loved it... Now I'm sitting here crying, clutching my knees listening to this song, wishing I would have just hugged her and told her that whatever she was going through she could talk about. But it's all over now, I've lost my best friend. I've lost my rock. I've lost the one person who meant the most to me. I love you.

I hate suicide because it seems to be an impulsive response (that usually builds up over time "until there's nothing left" [song] because they "do not want this anymore". Some of lyrics in King for a Day could actually be used to reflect suicide.) that seems to solve your problems and in a way it does. It solves YOUR problems, but you leave in your wake a bunch of other problems for people around you to deal with. It is not selfish because they are truly plagued by their inner problems, usually self-hatred or outer circumstances.

Death is universal --- more so than life --- but it scares me. People do not like to admit that death scares them, but when others die and I face its effect on those close to them, it makes me sad that someone else had to deal with this and guilty that I never have.

Funerals are difficult because I was not close to deceased and will feel awkward and inconsiderate by going or not. If I attend, I assume I will make a mistake and accidentally offend someone; if I do not, I will cause myself guilt later. 

This is how I always knew I never wanted to die (even though I had self-loathing/harming tendencies in 2013-2014 that still linger today, I could not find a better word for suicidal but knew I was not). I hate death, especially when lives are cut off (which is why those songs that pained me previously were harder --- they were based off of real people.) because that person could have ended properly and achieved some closure but something disrupted their homeostatic balance significantly enough to cause them to perish.

I fear that internet browsers look for things to criticize unjustly and target. Friend of person who posted that comment may honestly seem somewhat stereotypical, but anything someone likes can help and many  seem to find this sort of music releases more tension and is more effective. Most comments like this are genuine because most people are not so nonchalantly disrespectful as to mock serious problems. What matters is that people struggle and it is up to us to help them.

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